Deciding that someone needs to move into a care home is often a very difficult decision. It is common to feel a sense of guilt at making this decision. You may feel that you should be able to do more to support the person, or that you are letting them down. However, it’s important to remember that you are doing this because it is right for the person, and that there can be lots of positives to moving into a care home.
A care home will have staff who can provide continuous, 24-hour support, which may be more than you are reasonably able to do. A care home with nursing will also have a registered nurse on site 24 hours a day, for example. There are also important social benefits of living in a care home. Residents can meet one another, and join in group activities.
And just because the person moves into a care home, it doesn’t mean they will have to stop doing the things they enjoy. They will still be able to see family and friends, or do things that are meaningful to them. When the person is living in a care home, some people find it allows them to visit and spend quality time with the person, without having to focus on providing day-to-day care.
For more on feelings of guilt or other emotions see ‘Dealing with your emotions’. For more on the different types of care homes see Finding a care home.
Being prepared
Quite often, a person with dementia will move into a care home because of some unexpected event. For example:
- a hospital admission
- a carer becoming ill and being unable to care for the person
- safety concerns about the person the person with dementia experiencing behaviours that challenge, such as being awake all night, or becoming aggressive or agitated.
This means you may not always be expecting it, and may have to make a decision very quickly about what to do.
It can help to be prepared for this situation, and talk to the person with dementia about it as early as possible. It can help to know how they feel about a move – for example, it may be reassuring for you to know that you’re doing what they would want you to do. This can make the decision slightly easier when the time comes.
